Women Around Us: Nidaa Irbah On Being Independent

Nidaa Irbah, 20 year old.

I always believe that we can learn through other people's story. On today's Women Around Us series, I interviewed my friend Nidaa Irbah. Hearing her stories inspired me to work harder in life. It's truly a great experience to listen and take lessons from her story. Thus,  by reading Nidaa's story, I hope you would feel inspired as I do . Happy reading!

Nidaa Irbah is just a normal girl from a normal family. She had a beautiful childhood, living in Bekasi with her parents and little sister. It was not until she entered fifth grade on elementary school, where everything that she knew fell apart. "I didn't understand what happened at that moment. All I know is that I have to leave my home because things weren't good with my family". Her father at that time was working with a Japanese company. He was promoted and for quite a while everything were good. However, at 2008 the company got bankrupt and Nidaa's life completely changed after that.

"My family went through everything. We have to sell our house and everything in it. I have to leave my hometown and moved to Bogor. I didn't understand and I didn't want to leave. I felt so angry at that time," said Nidaa. Nidaa explained that she had to leave her house because their economy situation wasn't good. Her dad were chased by debt collectors, things weren't safe for her to stay in her home. "I used to live separately with my dad. He lived with my sister and I lived with my mom," said Nidaa. The condition were so bad, it put her in constant fear of her life and her father. She also told me that her mom once was so confused and don't know how to feed her own family. 

Nidaa's father started to pick up the things they have left behind in 2010. But it came with new challenges too. "I felt angry of course. I was angry with the situation, with my dad and with myself. I have to face the reality that our economy situation is bad. I was so scared because we lived with uncertainties."

The only thing that helps Nidaa at that time was game. "By playing game it allows me to have an escape from my reality. When I'm playing a game, it helps me to expand my imagination. For a moment, I can feel happy". Gaming became her refuge, and she started to think of any opportunity that she can get by playing games. That's the moment when she partnered with one of her friends and created an online shop for games. "I was so happy, because I learned to earn money on my own". She was just 16 when she started her own online shop.

Nidaa and her mom.

The business got so much better, and until now Nidaa were able to suffice her own need without her parents help. When I asked her about her proudest moment in her life, she reminisced her moments with her mom. "When I got back to my hometown after studying in Yogyakarta for 2 years, I thought about my mom and her condition". Nidaa explained that her mom had gone through every hardships in life. "I haven't done anything for my mom. I tried to be a great daughter by entering UGM. But, I wanted to do more for her. I love her so much. She always put her family needs first, rather than her own needs". With her little money that she earned by herself, Nidaa wanted to pay it forward to her mom. "I said to my mom that she can buy anything that she wants, but my mom kept rejecting me". I can clearly see how much Nidaa love her mom, her eyes teared up when she talked about her.

Nidaa told me that she wanted to buy her mom a perfume. During one of her trip to a mall, her mom stumbled upon a nostalgic perfume that she had always loved since she was young. "I talked to my mom that it's okay, just buy it and don't look at the price". Nidaa told me that her mother expression were anything that she could ask for. "I can clearly remember her smile and reaction when she got the perfume. I was so happy. I'm happy that I can make my mom happy," said Nidaa. It was Nidaa's proudest moment when she can ensure a small happiness for her mom with the money that she earned by herself. "I remember, deep down in my heart on that day. I made a promise to always make her happy. I'm so proud of myself that I can buy small things as my token of appreciation".

Nidaa told me that it's true, money cant buy happiness. But that time, when she saw how happy her mom was with the perfume, she can't be prouder of herself. When I asked her, didn't she feel mad with her hardships and troubles? she told me, "I used to be mad with everything. I feel that it's unfair, that I have to work and gain my own money at such a young age. But, in the end, I think I can't blame the situation or anyone else. I have to change it by myself. Rather than blaming anyone, I want to find the solution. And it's only me that can fix my situation".

Nidaa showed me maturity that I didn't thought would come from her age. She's a young woman but she had gone through many hardships in life that I can't even imagined. She told me that we need to truly believe that everyone have their own time to heal. Although it may sound cliche, but it did happen to her. "For me being independent, is when you can create something by yourself and help other people with it," she said. 

When Nidaa told me her stories, I left in silence. I didn't realize that she's been through a lot. Yet, her trouble from the past didn't bring her down. Instead, she rose up from her past and create something from it. I was actually ashamed of myself. Sometimes we tend to see poorly about ourselves, and we think that we have the hardest trouble in life. But compared to her, mine was nothing. 

I wanted people to know her story, because I know we can learn and take something from it. It takes a courage to step out from your comfort zone, and she did that. "Being independent is about taking risk even though you're alone. And being independent is for your own self, and not anyone else". 

Text and Photos by Smita Tanaya

Stay Awesome, Be Riot!     

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